What it is

Activity, of late:
I must be intentionally
compromising my health

strangling myself
over layers of
what it is

I should be deserving

Of you:
I was ready to crumble
I doubt you have
seen me as something
put together
I don't even know
if I've seen it

But you sure aren't helping

I tore
off my clothes
like the easiest thing in the world
like it would make you sing

It is not a matter of
(whether or not)
you (are) watching my body
anymore

Boils

Boiling boil, I am covered in boils
you lit up in flames
I wasn't watching
I licked the lid
you had to be mine
You let me burn while I was licking
you let me, burning
I entwine you
I tie you
I tried

You, tied to my table
and home all the time

Departure, repeat

Benjamin expands
like the body beneath him;
a breathing apparatus
to make memories with
and inflict guilt onto.

Was it easier before,
with a body beside him
almost faithfully?
He would make coffee
every morning
either for the taste
or as a means to burn.

Approaching doorways
he can only think of
her crooked back,
how the scoliosis
would graze the frame;
he never asked her if
this was on purpose

or if it was her intention
to leave him like she did-
the sudden disappearance
of something like a whale-
only to return now and then
just to slip silently into bed.

Normandy

Trapped in buildings
like pill bottles
and pills that I am locked
into taking

Frozen on couch cushions
I go back to the beach
in France with my mother
getting soaked in my jeans
even filthier than now

Even before minds could be
puzzles or boxes or
fire-proof blankets
I understood my hands
forging castles in sand
and the shells of parts
of grand ships that once
deployed soldiers that
died where I’m ruining
my pants

This was all before
I could then look back
to ocean water
and even dare to
contemplate reversing
the process

of 10,000 soldiers
climbing ashore
to 10,000 bullets
with one woman
walking past
and wading too far

Ready the Body

Prepping the body
as though the skin were like snakes
as though the skin were like
etched Russian glass
beautiful, but to touch
may result in swelling or shattering
killing yourself
or killing it

To prepare her body
she must be illuminated
like the city under siege
torches, the flame throwers,
and candles for praying

Ready the body
ready, my body
I wait, baited for touching
that doesn't burn
or crack
the skin I've cultivated,
shivering under pretense

You're touching yourself

Salt Persons

The saline content of rainy-day skins:

I could have licked you all over

and then some

Salt-licks and salted wounds

I was growing more confident with every flavor

I managed to scrape off your skin

with the prickled belly of my tongue

I believed I could absorb your being

as I salivated and your taste committed

itself to the insides of my mouth

Could you really take shape, though

in the muggy constrictions of my tracts

where I could tuck you away

and let you surface

as I walk away in rain?

Notorious

Get out

Move in 

Move in

I can push myself 

beneath the door

Sometimes we are careful

about locking

sometimes we just aren't

Like we're more afraid

of being caught with

our pants on in privacy

than losing 

to the infinite number of

thieves I know would watch me

if only they knew who I was